Poem: July 12, 2019

Funny Texts to Send Followed by "Sorry. Wrong Text."

- It's still bleeding.
- Yogurt THEN whiskey.
- Your secret is safe with me.
- I've always thought that purple was naughty.
- A necktie. In the kitchen. Just sayin.
- It happened again. Only this time there were two of them.
- Do you have a shovel and a big tarp?
- Well if you didn't like the oil you should have said something.
- What the hell was that?
- I think it's pronounced TWAH, not TROYS.
- How do you know when you've twisted it too far?
- Commence Operation Invisible NOW!
- I AM in the alley. Where are YOU?
- Well if you do it, you'll have to have something bigger than that.
- Three? Are you sure? They're only supposed to have two.
- It's there, but I think it may have gone bad.
- My finger is on the button.
- What was the name of that ointment?
- I'm telling you, they haven't said a word. This might work.
- Just throw it away. No one is going to miss it.
- On the clock and running hot, baby!
- C'est pourquoi j'apprends le français, mon amour.
- I think the word you are looking for is MAGNIFICENT.
- Remember that time Randy broke the toilet with a broom?
- Why is it ticking?
- I think I really messed up.
- Well if they didn't want people doing that, they should have posted a sign.
- Is that a third nipple?
- I can't believe the windows were open the whole time!
- Not after last night.
- How many colors...or should I say flavors ;)
- I tried bleach. I'm telling you, it's not coming out!
- Seven, but you have to really want it.
- I smelled that smell again.
- Do you think there will be an investigation?
- I could write a book, but it'd never get published. LOL!
- Are you in position?
- And that's why we use the label maker they provided.
- I thought you picked it up. What if someone finds it?!?!?
- Let's just chalk it up to "experimenting".
- Did you get the masks?
- Safe word = brioche.