Poem: February 27, 2019

Alexa...

...help me find my keys.
...play "Hotel California" but make it sound like it's on vinyl.
...empty the litter box...oh, AND the dishwasher. Thanks!
...bake brownies. Immediately.
...tell me why the hell the shower faucet is still dripping.
...order more Silly Putty.
...set phasers to "stun".
...does this look infected?
...what's a six-letter word for Amazement? Fourth letter is "D".
...make a decision: Bacon or Sausage Patties. Not both.
...astound me.
...please explain to Leslie that we don't need another cat.
...wake me at 4:30 AM, but don't really.
...pretend we're in a zoo and I'm a monkey that escaped.
...set thermostat to "bask".
...define "urgent".
...what the hell was that?
...try to keep things in perspective.
...write me a song that includes the line, "It's sort of like a donut."
...do that thing where you act like the guy from that movie.
...gird your loins.
...tell Siri I expect an apology.
...what did I come in here for?
...hold this for a sec.
...prevent hangovers.
...cover your ears.
...take a memo...To: Taylor Swift. Re: Cease and Desist.
...how many push-ups do you think I could do?
...guess who.
...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
...how about you put on that slinky thing you wore in Vegas?
...remind me to take the trash out, figuratively.
...put that back where you found it!
...shush, you.